We’ve got a bit of a dilemma. It’s not a bad one, in fact it’s a pretty rock and roll sort of dilemma. Our friends, the New York City rockers The Dirty Pearls, called Sludgey and I backstage to help them sort this all out for them. What’s the problem? Well, their awesome fans have sent them 5 wrapped gifts for the holidays, but we don’t know what band member gets which gift because they aren’t labeled! Luckily, I used my x-ray sunglasses to see what’s inside the boxes, now all I need you to do is help me figure out what member of the band gets each gift!

The Dirty Pearls and The Sexy Armpit present…
the Whose Gift Is Going To Who? Contest
On Saturday 12/21/13 the winner will be heading to IRVING PLAZA in New York City to see The Dirty Pearls with special guest Brian Newman and featuring Marco With Love, Ten Ton Mojo, The Bone Chimes, Breedlove, and DJ Ian Eldorado.

All you have to do is match up The Dirty Pearls band member with the gift they would want and send your answers to with the subject DP GIFT by 12/10/13:

For example if you think Tommy wants a new Guns and Roses album then type 
1. E and if Sunny wants a box of condoms then write 4. D, you get the picture.

CONTEST ENDS ON 12/10/13 !

Don’t forget to match ALL 5 of the band members!

Winner of the Gnarly November Giveaway!

Congratulations to Matthew S. from Michigan, he’s the winner of our November Giveaway and he’ll soon be the proud owner of all this cool crap! Thanks to everyone who participated! I’m sure there will another one coming soon! We’ll keep you posted! Follow us on Twitter for more info:

Entries for this contest were submitted in via private message on our Facebook page as well as in the comments section of this post on Faceboook. To find the winner, I compiled all the entries names into a list and used to choose a random number/winner.

Gnarly November Giveaway!

October’s Giveaway was a big hit so let’s do another one, what do you say? We upped the ante with this haul for sure. This month’s giveaway is going to be a real CORNUCOPIA OF CRAP (Necessary Thanksgiving tie-in). Everything in the picture is what the winner will receive.

1. New Mantenna Masters of the Universe Classics Figure
2. Shredder figure from the TMNT line.
3. Incredible Hulk Poster from Target
4. G.I Joe Combat Heroes Destro and Cover Girl
5. The amazing 1987 Dinosaurs! VHS Tape starring Fred Savage
6. Fantastic Four Book and Record Set
7. Star Trek Communicator Badge from Kellog’s
8. Captain Kirk Collectible Glass from Burger King
9. 2 Marvel mini comics
10. Sample pack of Star Wars cards

Plus, just like last time, it’s very simple to enter.


1. LIKE us on Facebook. If you already like our page on Facebook – THANKS, YOU F’N RULE!

2. Send us a message stating that you wish to enter the November giveaway either privately or in the comments of this post at the page.

3. A name will be chosen randomly out of all entries and the winner will be contacted on November 22nd for shipping information.

The WINNER of Our Halloween Giveaway Is…


Alex D. from MA is our winner! Congratulations on taking home our 2013 Halloween Giveaway Haul! We compiled all of the entries from our Facebook page (a record amount of entries!) and used to choose the number of our winner. Thank you to everyone who entered! There will be another giveaway coming up in November! Come back again soon! Happy Halloween!



Announcing the Halloween 2013 Giveaway here at The Sexy Armpit! This conglomeration of stuff will be sent out to one lucky winner. The details of how to enter are shown in the photo above. This may be the simplest giveaway we’ve ever held here at The Sexy Armpit. If you have any questions please contact me!

Package will include all of the above items (2 Ghostbusters comics, Franken Berry Van, Mad Mad Monster VHS Tape, Monster High Draculaura doll, Ghost Story/Circle of Fear DVD, Dracula PEZ Dispenser, Demo Man loose figure, Twilight Zone mouse pad, Mad Mad Monsters tattoo sheet.)

*WINNER WILL BE ANNOUNCED ON 10/30/13 (Winner chosen from a list using a random number generator)

The Dirty Pearls Record Release Party on 5/5

1. e-mail 
2. subject STATIC
3. Include Name and Address

The Dirty Pearls and the Official Cinco De Mayo Party Commission have come to an exclusive agreement to combine the two most powerful forces in partying into one huge mega event. Cinco De Mayo is cool, and yes, you’ll most likely be on an alcohol fueled bender, but the only way to experience both the supreme 5th of May style drunkenness AND The Dirty Pearls LIVE in person that night is to have tickets to their first ever record release party on May 5th, 2012 at The Gramercy Theatre in NYC.

As much as I considered my solo marathon of all 6 Star Wars movies in 2010 complete with nonstop food, drinks, and snacks to be one stellar bash, THIS will literally be the party of the century folks. Drinks and ROCK! As old as rock and roll is, The Dirty Pearls make it sound completely fresh and new. They’ll be celebrating the release of the first ever full length album, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, that we’ve been anticipating for a long time here at The Sexy Armpit! Cannot wait to get it on my iPod!
Opening for The Dirty Pearls is Star Killer, and the show will also feature Hussle Club, Ariana and The Rose, Liquid Blonde and more special guests! Tickets are selling fast, but you can follow the directions above to get yourself 2 tickets to the show courtesy of best damn rock and roll band in New York City: The Dirty Pearls!!! If you don’t want to wait then get your tickets NOW via this link!
Gramercy Theatre
127 E. 23rd Street
New York, NY

Shamrock Shakedown Giveaway!


2 FREE Shamrock Shake cards that have been provided by McDonald’s will go out to 2 Random winners!
subject: SHAMROCK
If you are chosen we will reach out to you for your mailing address

Many folks in New Jersey are pissed off that the St. Patrick’s Day parade in Hoboken is cancelled this year. Things usually get pretty out of hand so the city is taking a break from it. I don’t get involved in parades because they bore the shit out of me. Drinking tons of beer is of course fun, but not with thousands of other drunken boozers roaming the streets and getting behind the wheel. Aside from eating a bowl of me Lucky Charms, I have other plans this St.Patrick’s Day.

I don’t really participate in the yearly resurgence of corned beef and cabbage, but I need MINT in my life constantly. Usually the one time of year that everything becomes MINT is in March because St. Patrick’s Day turns everything green and green often means MINT! There’s no better mint offering than mint ice cream! And since I’m obsessed with using straws, The Shamrock Shake is like a magic pot of gold for me.

In addition to consistently bringing back the McRib, McDonald’s has been keeping it real with their classic Shamrock Shake as well. The best part: they are now available nationwide, not just in select mystery locations. Just as I write this, as the Irish say, I’m really gummin’ for a Shamrock Shake. The only thing that would make the shake experience even better is if McD’s was offering this green delicacy in  Uncle O’Grimacey collector cups! Now, REMEMBER, you only have until MARCH 25th before the Shamrock Shakes disappear, so get your arses to McD’s to enjoy one!